As I get older (56 and proud here!) I find myself pulling away from certain people, places, and things I always thought were so important and an integral part of me. I've learned they're nothing of the sort.
In doing so I find myself with a weird sense of loneliness sometime. A few days ago for instance, I was restless-lonely. I didn't want to be around anyone, but didn't want to be by myself. It’s a strange sensation that is neither melancholy nor regret. It’s lots of emotions sort of rolled into one. I've gotten frustrated trying to figure the feeling out and then on an evening dog walk it hit me.
It wasn’t a sadness from jettisoning a person from my life or eliminating a place or thing. It was a hole, a vacant spot in my life where that thing used to be. It’s bumping up against the time spent with it. I was having a brief moment of not knowing what to do with that hole of vacant time.
Realizing that, I can see it as a space for opportunity. I get to read more. I can spend more time cooking (moving more toward a vegan diet, but more about that in a later blog post), visiting that coffee house I've never been to, writing here, meditating, investigating that new hobby, or working out. The possibilities are endless. All it took was a good, reflective walk with Rufus. If we all took the time and courage to pivot our point of view just a bit, we'd discover how much time we waste on meaningless things and how much is out there just waiting for us.
