How To Practice Self-Love

On long drives I love listening to my something from my podcast library on my iPhone. Today I was driving to Michigan and decided to listen to Aubrey Marcus's podcast. His has always been one of my favorites, and this episode is one of the better one's I've ever heard. Please take time to visit the link below and listen to this episode. Kamal Ravikant is extremely insightful and opened my eyes to many things. I hope you enjoy this as much as I did. 

How to Practice Self-Love

Living For Others

There is a huge difference between living for one's self and living for others. A person can certainly serve and be cognizant of others and their needs. Holding the door open for an elderly person, going to a movie you aren't particularly interested in seeing but your friend is, spending an extra five minutes on the phone with someone who needs to talk; these are examples of serving and being cognizant of others. 

Sacrificing your needs and desires to put others and their needs before yours is not. That's people pleasing. And while it certainly is a kind and polite way of thinking, it's not healthy. Everyone else around you is happy. You've made sure of that. But guess who is the miserable one? You are! Living for others is constant misery. It's stressful and it doesn't bring the kind of happiness we all deserve. 

It took me a very long time to understand the difference. Being first in your life isn't selfish or being rude or uncaring for others. If we don't make ourselves first in our lives, we can't be of service to others. That's writing a blank check, and that check is going to bounce. If I can't care for me I can't care for you. This is an excellent lesson to carry with us each and every day. 

A Ship of Purpose

I decided at the end of last semester not to pursue my nursing degree any further. After careful and thorough consideration I knew this was the right decision for me. It initially (and still) feels like the absolute right decision. That “gut” place tells me so. And as my dad always says, “Your gut instincts are always right.”

Now that the dust is settling and I'm returning to a more free schedule I find there is a hole now. Where there was once school and clinicals and homework, there is now nothing there. My “purpose” is gone. I was lying on the sofa yesterday feeling empty and down and couldn't figure out why. That's when I realized the sense of purpose was gone. This morning I realized that can be seen as a negative thing. Or it can be seen as a totally positive thing. I now have the time to pursue interests and curiosities I never had (made?) the time for before. So while right now it may seem like I'm rudderless, I'm actually in complete control of the direction the ship sails. And that direction can be any I choose. 

Why Buddhism Is True

Now that I'm not in school anymore (a blog posting for another time) I have lots of free time to pursue interests and loves I haven't had the time for. One love is reading. I got my love for reading at an early age. My dad was a voracious and fast reader (I'm quite a slow reader.) He could easily read two books or more in a day! My mother was the town librarian for many years, so I was surrounded by readers and reading.  I'm a voracious reader, as well, but I haven't had time for leisure reading in over two years. Now that the holidaze (note the spelling on that. LOL!) I have ample time to dive back in. I will read anything and everything from comic books and biographies to history (Revolutionary War history is one of my favorite history topics!) and science fiction. 

I'm an inherently curious person, and my interest in the self runs deep. Buddhism, mindfulness, nonattachment, meditation, metaphysics mixed with anatomy, chemistry, and even mind-altering/mind-expanding drugs; these are topics that fascinate me to no end. Exploring the depths of the mind-body connection/experience is a source of endless fascination and curiosity. I truly believe there is “more going on” than we can see, or allow ourselves to see. 

That said, my first book to relaunch my “reading career” is Why Buddhism Is True by Robert Wright. My friend of almost 40 years, Dan, sent me the book knowing it would something I would enjoy. Thank you so much, Dan. Now, let the reading begin!

The Zen of Zappa

“If you end up with a boring miserable life because you listened to your mom, your dad, your teacher, your priest, or some guy on television telling you how to do your shit, then you deserve it.”
— Frank Zappa