There is a huge difference between living for one's self and living for others. A person can certainly serve and be cognizant of others and their needs. Holding the door open for an elderly person, going to a movie you aren't particularly interested in seeing but your friend is, spending an extra five minutes on the phone with someone who needs to talk; these are examples of serving and being cognizant of others.
Sacrificing your needs and desires to put others and their needs before yours is not. That's people pleasing. And while it certainly is a kind and polite way of thinking, it's not healthy. Everyone else around you is happy. You've made sure of that. But guess who is the miserable one? You are! Living for others is constant misery. It's stressful and it doesn't bring the kind of happiness we all deserve.
It took me a very long time to understand the difference. Being first in your life isn't selfish or being rude or uncaring for others. If we don't make ourselves first in our lives, we can't be of service to others. That's writing a blank check, and that check is going to bounce. If I can't care for me I can't care for you. This is an excellent lesson to carry with us each and every day.
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