I Don't Fucking Care

When a person says, "I just don't fucking care anymore," it sounds like they're giving up. In reality it's not defeat. It's liberation.

The Secrets of Bouncing back from Defeats

Thanks once again to my dear friend Dan Hagen for this article. It contains some very insightful and useful knowledge to help us understand ourselves and learn how to turn defeat into motivation.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-human-beast/201612/how-take-beating

The Perfect Argument

In your mind have you ever had the perfect argument? You know the one. You're replaying the argument you had with someone earlier today. Or maybe it was earlier in the week, last year perhaps, or even years ago. Or maybe, just maybe it's the argument you wanted so badly to have but never got the chance. 

You've played it over and over in your mind. Planned out every little zinger, and every vicious response. And when you've trapped that person in your clever web of words, you release the hounds. They're so stunned. The look on their face says, "How could you be that cruel to say such a thing?!" Direct hit! You've struck them at their core, right where it really hurts. They slink away in total defeat. You. told. them!

You finally got have your say, and you crushed them! And all the other person could do is stand there and take it, mouth agape. How does that make you feel? You're smiling on the inside, aren't you? Victory is yours! 

Is it really, though? What did that little mental skewering of the other person really accomplish? Chances are the argument in your head didn't end there, did it? You kept going and kept hammering them right where it hurts, didn't you? Notice anything? That's right. You want to keep going. You want to bury that person with all the clever and hurtful zingers you can muster. That kind of anger is really addictive, isn't it? You can say what you want to whomever you want. And they have to take it. But take a look at who's more worked up. Is it the other person? Who has the elevated heart rate? Which one of you is gritting their teeth? Who's the one digging down for more ugly, hurtful words to hurl? It's not the other person, is it? Nope. It's you. 

So after all that, who do you think really won that argument?