The Thievery of Joy

Comparison truly is the thief of joy.

Through an odd set of circumstances, this morning I found out the salary of an old friend of mine I haven't seen in years. Now I have a very comfortable salary, but he makes, literally, over three times what I make. That's an obscene amount of money!

I immediately started comparing myself to him.
"He probably has a great house, and here I am living in an apartment."
"He probably drives a brand new car."
"How could I possibly feel good about myself if we were in each other's company." and on and on it went for about five minutes as I sank deeper into a "flash despair" the kind that comes on quickly and hits you hard. Right in the gut. 

Then in as quick a flash, I realized I'd slipped into that comparison trap again. I quickly lifted myself out it. I reminded myself that all the material things in the world can't replace honest joy, the kind that can only come from the inside. Is my friend happy with his life? I sure hope so. Am I happy with mine? Absolutely. When I stop laying everyone else's template over myself is when I'm reminded that happiness and joy truly are very intimate, inside jobs.

The Best I Can

I've spent a good portion of my life being a people pleaser and a perfectionist. That's a whole other series of blog posts. I've always chased perfection and made sure everyone else was happy, even if it was at the sacrifice of my own. Perfection is an illusion that only brings misery. A friend described that mentality as "perfectionist despair." 

About a week ago in a conversation with my partner I stumbled on to the best prescription for avoiding perfectionist despair and help with being a people pleaser. It's not complicated. It's just this simple, I say to myself or to others, "I do the best I can in the best way I know how." 

It's just that simple. It's liberating. It frees me from my panic and desperation to be perfect and please everyone else but myself. 

I do the best I can in the best way I know how. 

My Formula For Enjoying Life's Journey

On the diagram Point A is where you're currently at. 

The goal you've set for yourself is Point B. 

In between those two points is C. 

That's the space you fill in with actions to get from A to B.
It can be filled with fear, anxiety, despair and a sense of dread at the tasks it will take to get there, all of which will probably sabotage your end goal.

Or it can be filled with a sense of adventure, the thrill of taking on challenges, excitement of daring to step into something new, and a genuine sense of accomplishment when you get there.

Now which do you think makes the journey more rewarding and memorable?