The Only Thing We Have To Fear...

"The only thing we have to fear is fear itself."

– Franklin Roosevelt

As I continue on my journey of personal discovery and growth, this phrase keeps coming back to me. It's ten simple words that I think are some of the most simple yet utterly profound. As I grow and learn more about myself the quote takes on different meanings.

For instance, place the emphasis on the word "fear."
"The only thing we have to fear is fear itself."

Now put the emphasis on the word "thing." "The only thing we have to fear is fear itself."

Now "we." "The only thing we have to fear is fear itself."

See what I mean?

I've learned that fear permeates practically everything if we let it. Fear is the ultimate paralyzer. It freezes us in place, whether that be trying a new entree at a restaurant, asking that person we've always thought was cute out on a date, or more tragically, staying in a miserable job because we fear rejection and change.

I've learned to identify my fear in a situation and label it as just that, fear. Once I do that I realize that it's not the thing or situation or person or event I fear. It's simply me letting fear hold me back.

The only thing we have to fear is fear itself. Indeed. Thank you, Mr. Roosevelt.

Perspectives and Pigeon Holes

I love the way a trip can give a person perspective. It's like a reverse microscope. The further one gets away from “life back home,” the details of that life come finer, more intricate, not fuzzier. One can see the individual parts of that life and how they all interact with one another.

That said, I’ve been feeling some anxiety lately. I'm starting nursing school in the fall of this year, and it's been causing a nebulous churning inside me. It’s an uneasiness I’ve been having difficulty identifying and getting my brain around. My recent weekend getaway to San Francisco helped me get perspective though, and I realized some things about myself that helped.

One, I’m a pigeon-holer. I like everything in its own neat, little, organized cubby hole. And if it’s not, that’s where anxiety takes root for me. Facets of a task or some aspect of my life just “hanging out there” unorganized or unassigned to some schedule or framework I’ve devised in my head makes me nervous. Two, I realized I’m not afraid of or nervous about tackling and comprehending the academic aspects of nursing school. I have no doubt or concern about that what so ever.

And there’s where the perspective comes in. Being away from my "home self" for a while, I was able to see my nebulous worry from afar which helped me to observe it objectively and identify its parts. The uneasiness wasn’t the academic challenges ahead. It was the almost impossible schedule I’d created in my head. I was so focused on the how of it all. I kept fretting over how will all the parts of my life (work, school, social, relationships, etc.) interact and fit together. I was so focused on that that I lost sight of appreciating the moment and staying present. My anxiety was stealing my joy and sense of accomplishments thus far in getting to where I'm at.

I realized I can only address what’s in front of me. The parts out of my control are just that, out of my control. The future can’t be organized or pigeon-holed. I can prepare for the future in the here and now, definitely. There is nothing wrong with that. I cannot, however, control my future. Coming to this revelation, understanding that and giving up the senseless frustration of trying to control the future was a revelation and another major step in my growth.

The Mastery of Love

I recently finished this amazing book. While the title would lead you to believe that it is about learning to have better relationships with others (which is correct), it is about so much more. It is filled with wonderful insights on the most important relationship of all, the one with the self. 

I highly suggest it to anyone who is ready to explore themselves even deeper, and ready to look
inside a little more. By the author of The Four Agreements, don Miguel Ruiz takes the reader on a wonderful journey of learning to let go, forgive and love.