The Happiness of Presence

Just now walking into the gym I was feeling so present and, to be honest, so unencumberedly happy. It wasn’t a bouncy, "leap-around-off-park-benches-in-a-musical" happy. It was a happiness of presence. “I’m here. Right now. In this very moment.”

I realized a good portion of that is from my time off (my company graciously gives us the week between Christmas and New Year's off). Since last Thursday I’ve not been shackled by burdens of my job. No stress, no strain, no mental pretzeling to navigate. For the last five days I’ve done as I pleased when I pleased. I’ve had serious Me Time to head in any direction I choose. Read some, nap some, cook, eat, write, workout, listen to music, spend time with friends, etc. In doing so I’ve formed that perspective of distance I love so much. I’ve been able to see my job for the toxic environment it is and how it intertwines on my psyche and causes discomfort and anxiety. I've realized (even though I knew it already) that no one needs to live that way. It's not worth it.

That kind of presence is true freedom right there!

The Absurdity of Negative Thinking

The most absurd thought crossed my mind this morning. I’m usually on and working by 6.30am. I like getting up early and getting a jump on things before the emails and direct messages start pouring in.

I was at the gym this morning and wouldn't start work until probably 7.45. I got nervous thinking people would be drumming their fingers and thinking me irresponsible for not being there at 6.30 (a time when they’re not even online and working.)

I quickly identified the notion as absurd, wadded it up and tossed in the wastebasket of my psyche (something I'm getting much better at!) It’s interesting how so much of enlightened thinking isn’t so much about not having the thoughts as it is learning ways to manage them.