I've come to realize several times lately the notion of life being about possibilities. We're not locked in any way into the pigeon hole we've been told we must belong in. That's just conditioning.
One incident that really drove the point of possibilities home for me was when my ex-partner and I were condo shopping. The realtor for the seller was there, a handsome man, well-dressed, well-spoken, and obviously gay. He kept following me around the condo subtly cruising me doing his best to disguise it as being the attentive real estate agent. When we left a fantasy kept playing in my head. Had I been by myself I could've fucked him right there in that condo. The mad, passionate, animalistic fucking of two people who are unable to deny their lust for one another. Of course the likelihood of that ever happening is reserved only for pornography. What the fantasy did teach me though was about life's possibilities. I realized how I'd sealed myself off from possibilities. Taking chances. Being open to experiences. Being curious and excited to see what different avenues life can take you down.
I realized how I'd allowed the world to be put behind glass. Something to be seen and not touched. Not savored. Not experienced. Somehow I'd allowed my life to become all window shopping and no buying. Longing for the experience but never reaching out for it.
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