Sunrise Serenity

Sitting with my coffee in the early morning quiet. I can’t fully express just much I love this. It is the most centered and peaceful moment of the day. Watching out the window as the sun comes up I think it’s the time when the day still belongs to nature; we haven’t cluttered it up yet with our noise and nonsense. I actually feel like nature is allowing me to be a part of their morning. As my friend Dan says, "I love the early morning period before anyone else gets up. The day changes when they do." Indeed so. By 9am the secret of the early hours is over. For now though, I will simply cherish the moment and be humbled by my part in it. 

Micro to Macrocosm

I was walking my dog Rufus earlier this morning when he paused for some serious sniffing near the neighbor's fence. Next to me was a corner brick column that anchors the fence with a large, square cement capital. While Rufus was busy sniffing around I noticed the top of the capital was covered in various lichens of different shapes and colors. Also on top were a multitude of ants scurrying about. That's when several acute thoughts struck me.

In this spot were a variety of species that inhabit the planet. Lichens, ants, trees, grasses, a canine, and a human, just to name a few. The lichens, considered by some to be the oldest living organisms on the planet, are beneficial to both trees and animals. The ants were tirelessly going about whatever their business was, probably unaware or unconcerned with the lichens. The grass and trees were soaking up the sunlight, busy with their photosynthetic business. They were unaware or unconcerned with the ants who in turn were unaware or unconcerned with the lichens. The canine was busy sniffing the ground unaware (and definitely unconcerned!) about the photosynthesis going on around it by the plant life that was indifferent to the ants who were indifferent to the lichens. The human was the only one to realize the profound nature of the moment. We were all living in our own realities, our own universes, and yet all existing in the vast and beautifully overlapping Venn diagram of life in the cosmos.

I will move through my day a little more in awe and little more humbly and tenderly.

My Place in Life

I was thinking last night. You know that guy with the new car you're a little envious of? Has he ever been curious about what sand looks like under a microscope? Your neighbor that has the huge house you might be dreaming of living in? Does he recognize the poetry of the Periodic Table of the Elements? That guy that's climbed the ladder to CEO you admire? Is he awed by the elegant structure of the universe? Do they stop to marvel at the drop of rain magnifying a tiny, green insect on a leaf? Do they know to be humbled by the exquisite dance of DNA? Probably not. They don’t stop long enough to be awestruck by the splendor of it all. They spend their entire lives achieving and no time living. How sad for them.

I don't have a brand new car. I don't live in the fanciest house, don't wear the flashiest clothes, or have the most impressive job title. That's not what it's about. It's about kindness, inquisitiveness, and reverence for the recognition of my place in it all. 

The Mindful Biological Machine

Feeling my body at the gym this morning. moving with purpose and all parts working together is incredible. I like to call it my “mindful workout.” With binaural sounds in my headphones, feeling ALL parts; muscle cells, bones, ligaments, brain cells, synapses, nerve fibers, lungs, blood vessels, etc, all working in harmony is incredibly centering and humbling. I am an incredibly wonderful and complex biological machine capable of infinite things.

The Richness of Simplicity

Anyone who knows me knows this is so me. Simple things and simple pleasures, they make life so incredibly rich. It's the stuff that really matters.

The Respect of the Universe

One of the James Webb telescope's images is this one (left.) In this picture the galaxy in the blue circle is 2 billion light years away. If you traveled the speed of light, it would take you 2 billion years to get there. You'd actually never get there. That image is where the galaxy was 2 billion years ago. If you started now you'd have to travel double that speed. In other words, we will never know what's going on over there in our neighbor's house. There may not even be anyone home, but that's doubtful.

And this telescope captured an image so clear and precise you can see the individual spiral arms of it (right.) I'm an Atheist. I do not believe in God or any sort of supernatural higher power. I'm also a science lover and my profound sense of awe and wonder in these images comes from an empirical data perspective.

Others are quite different. Their sense of awe and wonder come from a religious perspective. Who would I be to criticize that or attempt to steal their joy of this moment simply because we believe differently?

That said, this must be a moment where we all look out to the universe together in the same wonder and awe regardless of religion or beliefs. Jewish, Muslim, Christian, Agnostic, Atheist, and so many more, those are simply layers on top of the core sense of wonder. I stand in the Cosmos in the same stature as gas giants, comets, quasars, black holes, sparrows, dandelions, nebulae, other forms of life in other galaxies, and dark matter. We are all children of the universe. 

I for one will respect another's wonder as I would hope they would respect mine. Our reverence of our universe is the same.

The Mindfulness of the Wrong Shoes

I just had a good lesson in mindfulness, the Snowball Effect, compartmentalization, and gratitude.

I ordered a cool pair of shoes about a month ago and my normal shoe size wasn’t right for these shoes. I need two sizes bigger for a proper fit. I immediately sank into an all-encompassing despair that went from, “Damn. The wrong size!" to "Why can’t anything ever work out right for me?!” and the image of me as an old man living in some broken down apartment looking back on a life filled with bitter regret and missed opportunities. Funny, huh? 

For starters, I immediately realized I’m grateful for that moment. It reminded me that mindfulness is not about perfection. Nor is it any sort of acceptance of struggle, putting a smiley face on unhappiness. One can be the most mindful, calm, and accepting person in the world and it’s still okay to be upset and disappointed sometimes. Even about the size of a pair of shoes. It doesn’t mean I’m less mindful or I’ve failed some cosmic test of temperament. "Oops. You got mad about something trivial. You should've known better! We're going to have to take your Mindfulness Merit Badge away." It means I’m human, just like everyone else.

Second, the wrong shoes has absolutely nothing to do with the rest of my life. They are not partners out to "get me." The wrong shoe size isn't an omen for the rest of my existence. The wrong size shoes doesn't mean a lonely and bitter Third Act. That’s all internal programming from the past. It’s that record the ego puts on the turntable any chance it gets to play the same song over and over. It's the ego's way of tricking me to staying in place, right where it wants me.

Which brings me to the gratitude part. In the midst of a deadly pandemic I’m losing my shit over a pair of shoes?! There are people in hospital rooms in this COVID crisis fighting for every breath alone with no family to hold their hand, no spouse to comfort them in their final moments, and I'm complaining about shoes. How dare I. There are families in this crisis who don't know where their next meal will come from or how they're going to survive. Literally. I need to remember this. I need to be quiet and be still. I need to keep this lesson close and remember it as I move step by mindful step forward in a humble and grateful fashion. 

A Solitary Walk

I’ve taken to each day after work taking a nice mile or so walk around the neighborhood. Today being colder and the snow flurries on and off all afternoon made it feel like mid to early-late Autumn. The clouds had that Fall look, stark white and billowing on top, flat and grey on the bottom. The cold wind gusts only added to the Autumn feeling. Given the circumstances of Shelter in Place I was practically the only one out, and barely any traffic gave it all a cozy, desolate feeling I actually enjoyed. I stopped at one point and just watched the trees and the clouds. I thought to myself, "What do they care about COVID? They don't." It’s as foreign to them as the bees Colony Collapse Disorder is to us. They simply go about their silent, regal business. Floating across the sky and swaying in the breeze. I was struck by their humble arrogance, their steadfastness. Their world continues uninterrupted. They’re unaffected by us either way. Be here or don’t be here, they could care less. There’s a much higher purpose they’re an integral part of we haven’t recognized yet. They get the interconnection of it all and we don’t. We’re as foreign and almost meaningless to them as the gnats are to us.

Humility From the Tao

One on tip-toe cannot stand.

One astride cannot walk.

One who displays himself does not shine.

One who justifies himself has no glory.

One who boasts of his own ability has no merit.

One who parades his own success will not endure.

— Tao Te Ching, #24

A Spiral Arm Of The Milky Way And Our Place In The Cosmos

I've actually experienced this. A few years ago I was vacationing in Puerto Rico and spent a few days on the island of Vieques. I was alone on a beach one night away from any artificial light. The nearest arm of the galaxy stretched from one horizon to the other. I stood there watching in awe for about two hours. It was just me, the waves washing up on shore, and the Milky Way. I felt as if the galaxy and I shared some kind of private intimacy and kinship. It was my seductive and mysterious partner, sharing with me and only me its immense and sacred secrets. To say I was overwhelmed and humbled with my tiny yet significant and necessary place in the cosmos sounds contradictory, but it's the best description of the power and weight of the moment. 

A stunning video of this can be seen at the link below.

https://vimeo.com/211656397